Elisabeth Elliot, a renowned Christian author, missionary, and speaker, left behind a legacy of profound wisdom, particularly on the topic of love. One of her most enduring quotes, often paraphrased, speaks to the transformative power of selfless love: "Love isn't a feeling; it's a choice." This seemingly simple statement holds layers of depth and meaning that warrant exploration. This article delves into the essence of Elliot's quote, examining its implications and providing a deeper understanding of her perspective on love.
What Did Elisabeth Elliot Mean by "Love Isn't a Feeling; It's a Choice"?
Elliot's assertion challenges the common perception of love as a purely emotional experience, something that ebbs and flows with feelings. Instead, she presents love as a conscious decision, a commitment made regardless of circumstances or emotional state. This is crucial because it acknowledges that feelings are inherently fickle; they fluctuate based on external factors and our internal emotional landscape. True love, as Elliot understood it, transcends these fleeting emotions. It's a steadfast dedication, a commitment to another person even when feelings might falter.
Is Love Always a Choice, or Are Feelings Involved?
This is a point of contention that often arises in discussions about Elliot's quote. While she emphasizes the volitional aspect of love, it doesn't negate the role of feelings. It’s more accurate to say that love encompasses both choice and feeling. The choice is the foundational element; it's the bedrock upon which genuine love is built. This choice fuels and nourishes the feelings, creating a positive feedback loop. However, the choice remains paramount, especially during challenging times when feelings might be less than positive. The choice to love persists even when feelings are absent or negative.
How Does This Relate to the Christian Faith?
Elliot's perspective is deeply rooted in her Christian faith. In this context, love is often equated with agape – a selfless, unconditional love that mirrors God's love for humanity. This type of love isn't contingent on reciprocation or positive emotions. It's an active, sacrificial commitment to the well-being of another, reflecting God's own sacrificial love. Elliot’s life, marked by profound loss and unwavering faith, served as a powerful testament to this kind of enduring, choice-based love.
Can Love Be Cultivated? If so, How?
Absolutely. While love begins with a choice, it's not a static entity. It requires nurturing and cultivation. This involves conscious acts of kindness, empathy, forgiveness, and service. It's about actively choosing to understand, support, and prioritize the needs of the beloved, even when it's difficult. This cultivation process strengthens the emotional connection and deepens the bond, further reinforcing the initial choice to love. Actions consistently reflect the commitment, leading to a stronger, more fulfilling love.
What Does It Mean to Love Someone Unconditionally?
Unconditional love, a central theme in Elliot's writings, is not about condoning harmful behaviors or neglecting personal boundaries. It's about loving the person despite their flaws and shortcomings, accepting them for who they are while still setting healthy limits and expectations. It's a commitment to their well-being, even if their choices don't align with yours. It's about offering grace and forgiveness, reflecting the boundless grace offered by God.
What are the Benefits of Choosing Love?
The benefits of choosing love are numerous. It fosters deeper relationships, enhances emotional well-being, builds resilience, and contributes to a more compassionate and fulfilling life. Choosing love, in the face of adversity, strengthens character and fosters personal growth. It creates a more positive and meaningful impact on the world around us.
In conclusion, Elisabeth Elliot's quote on love offers a powerful and enduring message: true love is a conscious decision, a commitment that transcends fleeting emotions. By understanding this perspective, we can cultivate deeper, more meaningful relationships and live lives marked by enduring love and compassion. This understanding transcends the merely emotional, reaching the core of what it means to truly love and be loved.
